When Your Partner is Acting Strangely

Behaviour of partners or friends can seem a real challenge at times.

Mood swings, unpredictable moods, bouts of sudden unexplained anger and what seems to be totally irrational behaviour. These things are the common triggers of arguments and even domestic violence. So, what causes such behaviour?

There are many reasons, often stemming from Values conflicts between two people, or even conflicting unconscious Values in an individual. But here I want to focus the spotlight on a damaging cause that is becoming a greater danger as each you goes past. And that cause is our modern diet.

Yes, you read that correctly – diet, the stuff we stick in our mouths on a daily basis.

As a psychotherapist with over 40 years of clinical experience, at least 50% of cases of anxiety, depression, mood swings, anger and “weird” behaviour can be attributed to diets high in specific food types containing high sugar levels, nutritional deficiencies or products containg gluten. These foods damage the lining of the small intestine causing disruption to the uptake of essential nutients and the production of essential neurotransmitters including Serotonin. Serotonin is a molecule that helps regulate mood and a sense of wellbeing. Eighty percent of its pruduction occurs in the lining of the small intestine. When toxins, sugars, gluten and other food sourced irritants damage this lining it is the nervous system that provides the first indicator that something is wrong.

Under such conditions the change in mood is often noticed by others before we see it in ourselves. Sudden mood swings are common. Anger triggers without reason, and anxiety and depression becomes part of our lives. Life can become very difficult, if not impossible. At the upper end of the problem we start to see diagnosable mental illness.

So when your friends, family or partner starts behaving differently for little apparent reason, just be aware they may not be in control of their emotions or behaviour. A little understanding and research into some changes in diet may well save your relationship.

Gary Johnston

Mental illness, Alcohol and Drugs in the Workplace

Despair in the workplace

Substance abuse affects all workplaces, even though it may be hidden, and often ignored with the hope it will never do any damage. But it does cause damage in many different ways.

Current estimates show that 25% of your workforce suffers from mental health issues at any one time. This may be anxiety disorders, depression, trauma and a whole raft of other “diagnosable” disorders, that are often not identified but which fester in the background. The World Health Organisation projects that depression alone will be the second greatest cause of disability by the year 2020. That’s not far away and needs to be addressed immediately.

These disorders are a primary cause of poor performance, absenteeism, relationship conflicts and accidents. At a management level such disorders can totally disrupt the organisation, and unfortunately may not be recognised before it is too late.

Such disorders are also a key trigger to substance abuse which in turn magnifies the effect on both individuals and organisations. So how do we identify the problems in the first place, and then how do we react to an identified problem?


Is it my problem?

It’s an obvious question. If someone in my organisation, who comes under my leadership of job description, has a mental health or substance abuse issue, is it really my problem? Why should I take on added workload to deal with it?

The moral and socially acceptable answer is yes. If you don’t have the emotional intelligence to at least care enough to either intervene of direct someone in this situation to assistance, then maybe you should find another job.

Whether you like it or not you are in the people business. Take the people out of your business and see how long the organisation would last. People are a primary asset and the foundation of your business model – always. So if you don’t wish to involve yourself in the issues of your people the chance are you have a high staff turnover and can’t work out why.

If you wish to look at it from a purely commercial aspect – its effect on the bottom line – then consider this. Mental health disorders typically reduce the persons productivity by 75% and mistake rates substantially, requiring work to be redone or the mistake have more serious consequences. It 25% of your workforce are in this predicament, and there productivity suffers by 75% then overall organisational productivity is downgraded by 18%. That’s enough to make or break many organisations. Still think you don’t need to get involved?

In my work in organisations I see a constant thread through the attitude to workforce management in organisations that are not performing well:

  1. a tendency to spend enormous amounts of time in creating boat loads of statistics
  2. a tendency to towards 360 degree assessments which show little in the way the organisation is functioning, since a significant percentage of the people doing the assessments have no real direction or understanding of the issues involved
  3. a tendency to treat staff as a commodity with the expectation that everyone is there to sell their soul to the organisation.
  4. a tendency to try to fix the problem by bringing in motivational and training organisations to supply a hose down of “hot bath” motivation, which at best changes behaviour for 24 hours.

The net result of such methods is generally failure after failure until the organisation goes out of business or just bounces along the bottom without ever creating a growing and stable organisation. Costs are invariably high and profits or other outcomes low. When a downturn in the economy hits there is too little flexibility or resilience to survive.

So now I have had my rant, let’s talk about the solutions.


What can I do?

My background is in psychotherapy and social planning. I have dealt with people on a daily basis for over 35 years at an individual level and organisational and I can say irrefutably that unless you treat people as unique individuals, with respect and edification, you will always lose.

  1. The way you as a manager or HR professional communicate with your staff will directly determine the profitability of the company.
  2. If you don’t spend time and energy understanding the real underlying Values of your clients and your staff your risk of failure is immense. People, whether clients or management or staff seek respect and inclusion as a prime driver of the thoughts, emotions and behaviour. If this is not honoured you will never get their best work or contribution to the company.

There is only one way for management and HR to identify the problem and that is to interact with PEOPLE as individuals, with unique desires, needs and goals in life. If you respect this and encourage this they will literally die for you.

If you are senior management this may take a change in understanding of processes within your organisation. First, fix your own problems if you suffer from anxiety or depression. This is not something to be embarrassed about or try to hide because frankly no-one takes on such issues as a choice. They derive from our work and home environment and more often than not programming we took on when we were children. Easily fixed. The other common issue is diet, with our modern diet causing deep depression and anxiety. Again, easily sorted.

Once you have done this you will have a better understanding of your people and act with greater compassion and emotional intelligence. We have programs that can sort out entire organisations, starting at the top.

The results? Demonstrable increase in bottom line and a far happier and more productive workforce.

The Scourge of Substance Abuse

Alcohol abuse


Self-medication through the use of psychoactive substances, including alcohol, is a serious and growing problem in societies around the world. The current methods of dealing with the treatment of substance abuse rarely identifies the underlying driving factors, some of which should be blindingly obvious, but are typically overlooked.

Why are they overlooked? Simply because the current raft of traditional psychological and physical treatments do not have rapid resolution tools for the underlying emotional and physical drivers  for substance abuse. So the rule seems to be if you can’t change it, ignore it.

Over 35 years of specialisation in anxiety and depressive disorders, including trauma or PTSD, has shown a clear pattern in substance abusers.

In almost 100% of cases the nervous system is modified by the substance used to deaden or reduce the awareness of physical or emotional “pain”, more often than not driven by deep unconscious self-image / self-worth conflicts. In our society poor underlying core self-image or acceptance affects 95% of the human race, which in turn seriously affects what we do, the relationships we form and our perceived value to ourselves and others. The growing tendency for our society to create higher demands with less social interaction creates an environment of disenfranchisement. This in turn causes a level of emotional pain which drives the use of substance use to deaden that pain. But this is only the start of slippery downhill slope.

If you have looked at and understood the basis of the Neuro-Com Mind Model you will know that unconscious belief and Values systems can only be partially modified in 30% of cases by using conscious “let’s have a chat” processes used by the traditional psychological model.

This is because the memory groups that create the behaviour will not create change unless they perceive an error in their existing processing methods. The current models of CBT used in these processes, which call for the individual to implement, are blocked by the very part of the mind one is trying to modify. So no amount of talk therapy or conscious behaviour modification is going to work long term, creating a very high relapse rate. Every time the individual relapses just embeds the original behaviour deeper as the sense of failure grows.

Of course there are physical addiction models in place which must also be dealt with, but I will look at these in a different post.

To create permanent change in emotional and socially addictive behaviours one must:

  1. Identify the original environment / parental / social factors that created the poor self-awareness in the first place.
  2. Identify the dietary / nutritional regime that has been supporting the addiction. For instance ALL alcoholics become hypoglycaemic which in turn drives the physical addiction.
  3. Remove the physical factors supporting the addiction / anxiety / depression.
  4. Modify the unconscious programs supporting self-image conflicts and anxiety or depressive states. There are specific proven methods with which to do this rapidly which do not involve conscious processing in the normal use of the word.

In the next post we discuss the physical addictions that become embedded in regular substance abusers that also need to be dealt with.

The keys to positive relationships

Neuro-Com relationshipsHow we interact with other people is fraught with dangers and complications, which actually cause relationships to fail far more than they success. We have a common perception that our relationships, be they personal or organisational, should work in a particular way. Most often, they don’t. And this begs the question of “why?”

Relationships only work if the parties to them are congruent from a values perspective. That is, each individual within a relationship has common Values – values that match in a way which provides acceptance and common direction. The less Values in common, the more issues we have and the faster the relationship fails.

Now you may have noticed that I have capitalised the “V” in Values. This is for a particular reason that must be understood to understand the basics of the Neuro-Com Relationship model.

The word value typically denotes something of higher demand or perceived financial importance or that attracts a higher level of moral or ethical interest. In some ways this is true, but the Values (with a capital “V”) that I refer to are the parts of the emotional memory that respond with higher levels of reactive activity or energy when triggered by events or circumstance we find ourselves embroiled in. These Values are memory groups that have been programmed with a higher level of importance or emotional energy, almost always during our first 5 years. Unless we change these deliberately during our lives these Values drive our behaviours, thoughts and emotional reactions for the rest of our lives – including the relationships we are attracted to.

For a relationship to work at all we need at least 50% of these core Values in common. This level of overlap will allow a typical relationship to last 5-7 years before it runs out of another critical element – tolerance. A relationship with 80% Values overlap tends to last a long time. It is perhaps not perfect, but it is comfortable most of the time.

Unfortunately the 80% scenario only occurs in less than 10% of relationships.

So in this we find a key to designing and maintaining great relationships. For more info watch our short video series at http://www.liverelationships.info. It’s FREE!

Comment on professional responsibility in mental and physical health

Please see this article at ezinearticles.com and provide your thoughts through the feedback / comment form below.

To bypass the use of dubious or non-relevant research to support the case for particular psychotherapies and medical or alternate physical therapies, this article argues that all practitioners should be required to provide a money back guarantee if service does not match the promise. What do you think?



Stress Reduction Techniques


[ Physical aspects ] [ Diet ] [ Brain Waves ] [ Breathing ]

Literature abounds with the latest “you beaut” stress reduction techniques, all of which probably work for the person that wrote down the technique. But, of course, we are all different. Depending on our basic belief systems we SEE, FEEL and HEAR the methods presented to us in a different context to the person trying to convey them. The techniques presented here are based on established emotional and physiological research, the outcome of which is difficult to confuse. By following these techniques you should be able to establish a pattern in your life which leads to long term results in lowering stress levels.


Let Your Body Talk – Physical Aspects

Whatever affects the mind affects the body, and whatever affects the body affects the mind. We can no longer treat mind and body as separate parts of our system.
We know that high levels of anxiety dramatically change the way your body functions, often causing severe toxic imbalances in the body’s biochemistry. This in turn affects emotions and neurological pathways so that thinking processes become difficult. Such symptoms can show us what problems lie underneath and give us a clear understanding of how to treat them.

The original root cause event is probably not even making itself known in consciousness, as we find that, in most cases, the triggers for later physiological reactions are in the first five years of life when the basic beliefs were formulated. But as the years go by and greater internal conflicts develop as a result of apparently changing beliefs and values, the body begins to change the way it behaves to cope with the on going activation of the well known “flight or fight response”.

The “flight or fight response” is described as being the physiological result of a life threatening stressor. It developed when evolution gave us the ability to produce adrenalin in response to the sight of a lion or other predator coming around the corner and surprising us! The adrenalin then circulating in our veins made substantial changes to other areas of the body so that we could run away from the danger or use our resources to fight the offending beast. Blood would be diverted to muscles and away from the skin to prepare for sudden action and reduce the likelihood of bleeding if injury was incurred. Extra reserves of energy laden chemicals would be released from storage to allow the impending physical reactions to take place. And levels of strength would be increased. But these reactions were designed to be short term, later settling down when the danger was no longer present and hence reducing the physical stress on the body and allowing it to recover.

In the way our modern society demands achievement and places on us restrictions in our behaviours many of us have the “flight or fight response” permanently turned on. This results in permanently high levels of the physiological stressor chemicals in our system, to which the body tries to respond by changing the way we produce energy and other essential chemical reactions in order to try to return a degree of balance or homoeostasis. The result is the physiological symptoms we have described for highly stressed individuals including the concentration and memory problems, changes to the way we view and experience the world, dizziness and often illogical fears of impending madness or suicide.

Listen to your body. The symptoms are easily eradicated by providing the body with the nutrients it needs in this changed state until you can defuse the underlying stressor. By providing the correct nutrition, eliminating the foods which are actually increasing stress levels, you will find the ability think clearly again and reduce anxiety to an easily manageable level.


[ Back to top ]

Foods to Avoid

Our social habits and lifestyle have created a dietary time-bomb. The following foods ALWAYS cause problems in our diet (and many of us are addicted to them).

  • All sugars and foods containing sugars, including sucrose, fructose, glucose and alcohol. These foods include:
  • Sweets, chocolates
  • Soft drinks
  • Sweet biscuits
  • Cakes
  • Ice Cream
  • Sugar in beverages
  • Alcoholic beverages

Processed grains such as white flour or white rice and products which contain these grains including:

  • White bread
  • Pasta
  • Pizza
  • Cakes
  • Biscuits
  • White rice products

Caffeine containing products also cause severe problems and addictions:

  • Coffee
  • Tea
  • Cola based products

When arranging meals try to stay with the meat, vegetable, salad routine, wholemeal grains and nuts. Diet for Stress Management is available HERE. These foods will provide continuous supplies of energy at a constant level and will tend to eliminate the anxieties and depressions causes by the poisons listed above. At the same time make sure that you include relatively high levels of a good Vitamin B mix in the form of a “Mega B”, “Stress B” or “Executive B” from your health shop. Take these vitamins 3 times per day WITH meals to reduce anxiety and improve clarity of thought and memory recall. As the immune system “listens in” on your emotional state it is a good idea to take plenty of Vitamin C which is essential for a wide range of biochemical reaction, especially important in boosting the immune system.

Also, visit the Hypoglycemic Web Site at http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Download Diet go to Neuro-Com Downloads

[ Back to top ]


Watch Your Brain-waves

At different levels of mental activity your brain produces electrical activity which is relevant to the type of activity being engaged in. Four types of activity have been defined and each defined type has certain characteristics which are generally consistent from one person to the next.

The highest level of activity is BETA which relates to our normal conscious waking state when we are thinking. This level defines a frequency range of 14 to 21 hertz, or cycles per second. The higher the level of mental activity or anxiety the higher the frequency which our brain produces. Long term involvement at these high frequencies ultimately produce dis-ease in the emotional state which will finally produce physical disease.

When we relax we enter ALPHA, with its characteristic brain-wave frequency of 7-14 cycles per second. A massive collection of research data is available on the effects of living in this relaxed state and of performing specific functions in this state. It has been found that we perform up to 15 times more efficiently in this state. We enter this state when we are day dreaming, listening to slow music, or engaging in light meditation. We are still able to think but the thinking is more concentrated and non stress inducing.

In fact it has been found that we can learn up to 15 times more quickly be learning in this state. Superlearning techniques use arm chairs and slow Baroque music to allow the student to drift into the alpha state whilst listening and viewing the information to be learned in defined units, about one every 4 seconds. Using these techniques entire languages have been learned, with 85% retention, in two or three days! Alpha also “irons” out the spikes, the sharp edges of the beta state and by doing so eliminates the dis-ease of that state. Alpha allows the body and mind to begin to heal. It has been used with great success in treating a large variety of physical complaints, including cancer.

Ainslie Meares, a well known Melbourne psychiatrist was a pioneer in used such relaxed states to treat disease and pain producing defects. Since then a large number of programs have developed around the idea of inducing and maintaining alpha states.

The next level of brain-wave activity is Theta, at 3.5-7 cycles per second. This is the level you pass through in that deep dreamy state between sleep and awareness as you go to and return from sleep. It’s that beautiful state when you are not quite conscious, but you’re not quite awake either. It is a very difficult state to maintain normally unless your have trained yourself over a long period. The Zen masters in deep meditation aim towards it as the insight about reality at this level can be quite startling. Such insight leads to “enlightenment” and seems to by- pass the thought/feeling reactions from the subconscious memory system. All levels of creation are enhanced at this level, especially health.

The lowest frequency, 0.5-3.5 cycles per second, is DELTA. This is sleep state where we are no longer conscious of the outside world and live in our inner world of dreams and subconscious memories. We have created a powerful cassette or CD program called “The Journey of the Crystal Cave”. It is designed to allow you to slow your brain-waves down to around 5-7 cycles per second. It does this by directing your concentration to relaxing the muscles of your body, allowing that relaxation to transfer to the mind. Remember, whatever affects the body affects the mind. A special sound is placed in the background of this tape that actually paces the low alpha wave frequency. The senses are aware of this signal and the brain-waves actually slow down to match it, allowing automatic relaxation. You can listen to is for free here – if you like it click on the link in the player and buy it to download.

It is not unusual for people using this program for a few days to find that just the first few words are sufficient to invoke a Theta state. The option is provided in the context of the tape to either wake at the end of it or to lapse into a deep sleep. You make the decision according to the environment you are in when using the tape.

WARNING: Do not use this program whilst driving a vehicle or using dangerous equipment and always allow yourself a few minutes to come back to full waking consciousness before driving!

Sometimes when you have some trauma or unresolved emotional conflict in your subconscious memory system the mind will take the opportunity of the alpha state to present that emotional content in order to have it resolved. If this happens when you start to use the MP3 please call us. We can relatively easily remove the problem. You will probably find that the problem involved the root cause of your stress levels. By removing it the problem goes away.

Listen to The Journey of the Crystal Cave for free or buy here

[ Back to top ]


Feel Your Breath – Let it All Hang Out!

Eastern religions have long held the belief that breath is important in maintain health and happiness. Apart from Yoga devotees this information has been largely ignored by the western world, preferring to become caught up in the world of ego and achievement. But now science once again is beginning to support such ancient wisdom, showing that the way we breath does indeed affect our emotional and physiological state.

Dr. Maurice Cottle, an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist in Chicago has found that certain breathing patterns affect disease states. Before we go on, spend a few minute becoming aware of your breathing. Do you notice if you pause for a while after you inhale, or perhaps after you exhale. Or do you stop half way through either cycle? Or does your breathing pattern appear even, one breath following the other in a smooth, uninterrupted cycle? Do you breath in the upper chest or in your belly, allowing it to hang out? If the latter was the case you are breathing well.

The ideal case is a continuous, uninterrupted flow of breath through the bottom of the lungs being controlled by the diaphragm. This method induces emotional harmony and allows the diaphragm to stimulate blood flow in all organs of the abdomen, inducing physical well-being. Dr. Cottle found that breathing in the upper chest, the macho thing to do in western society, created significant undesirable pressure on the muscles of the heart and lungs and actually caused dis-ease emotionally.

Anger often manifests itself when you take a pause just after the inhalation. A pause after exhaling and before inhalation is found in a high percentage of cases of heart attack as is the case of those who breath through the mouth instead of the nose! Correct breathing on the other hand lowers internal stress levels and enhances emotional states of harmony. Dr. Ballantine, in the Science of Breath, states that the lining to the nasal cavity also contains important neurological pathways between the nose and the autonomic and central nervous systems. The olfactory nerves receive input from the outside world and convey signals to the limbic system of the brain, the seat of our emotions.

REMEMBER: Breathe in a continuous cycle, without pause, and breath using the diaphragm, allowing your belly to move in and out rather than in the chest.

[ Back to top ]

Summary – Stress Reduction Methods

Using the three methods we have discussed:

  1. Modify your diet
  2. Induction of Alpha states
  3. Control of breath

you will be able to always maintain a state of relaxed efficiency. You will find that things which worried you in the past no longer affect you. You will be more in control, enjoy life to the fullest and perform in every way as you have never performed before. The greatest benefit is in maintenance of good health and good relationships.

When you can relax easily in any situation you will find that the emotional “stuff” that use to come to the surface when you least expected it will slow down and eventually stop. Your creativity will be enhanced. The changes that you need to make may take a little effort for a short while until they become automatic but the effort is ALWAYS worthwhile! Please feel free to contact us in Melbourne by email if you need assistance in any area of the program.

Journey of the Crystal Cave

JOCC-200x200This audio track, Journey of the Crystal Cave, was created with 12 individual tracks targeting both left and right brain individually.

It contains entrainment tracks that force the brain waves to slow to a deeply relaxed state, combined with hypnotic tracks, subliminal healing tracks and ocean background. It is deeply healing and has a proven history of great results. Enjoy, and if you like it click the link to buy and download it.

Please NEVER use whilst driving or using dangerous equipment

Best results use stereo speakers or headphones, sit back and let yourself drift.

The track runs for 46 minutes

It seems the Buy button is not working so you can get either an MP3 version or CD from Amazon at

Just click the link or cut and paste into browser.

Handling Grief and Loss


Grief at the passing of a loved one, a pet, or even the loss of a life circumstance, can be devastating at the best of times. Grief can even surround an event that happens to someone else where you have an emotional, ethical or values connection with that event. Such trauma brings with it a range of emotions from fear and depression to anger and resistance. Sometimes it is easier just to ignore the loss and try to get on with life – but such action is not wise.

Theories about the cause of grief and the best way to deal with it abound. Some will say that it is best left to take its own course. Others say that you should seek counseling from family or friends. Yet others will tell you to seek a professional counselor. In reality we are all individuals, unique in our own reactions to death and grief, and so we need to approach our recovery in our own way.

Grief occurs because it leaves us feeling vulnerable, afraid and sometimes empty. Suddenly we are faced with a change in the way we must deal with the world. We are faced with our own mortality, perhaps for the first time. We are faced with being left in this world without the self affirming contact with a soul we have become connected with. We are sometimes faced with the fear of having to do something on a daily basis we may never have had to think about before because that person did it for us. We are sometimes overcome by guilt because we perhaps did not say or do something we should have before they departed.

All of these reactions are normal. Even the wave of anger that sweeps across us from time to time is our minds way of dealing with the perceived desertion and disruption to our lives as a consequence of the loss.

The way we react, and the strength of the emotions is related to a number of factors in our lives. Death is stressful for most of us. There is no disputing that. I have worked with the dying and the bereaved for years and even that work is stressful at times, seeing the deep emotional trauma it creates. But even all that experience did not prepare me for the death of my father and seeing a body without life for the first time. So I can appreciate why death is so traumatic for most. But the stress involved in the death of a loved one can be made worse when there are underlying anxieties, especially when high daily stress levels have been in place for a long time. It is under these situations I would recommend that you seek professional assistance and guidance.

Grief can take a number of levels of seriousness:

  1. Normal grief will resolve itself over time. Those awful feelings of fear, desertion, emptiness and anger will slowly be replaced by new relationships and friendships, new methods of dealing with the days and nights. How long should it take? It will take as long as it takes, but even six to twelve months can be normal. It often depends on the degree of support you have from family and friends, and whether you can bring yourself to talk about it, and of course, allow yourself to cry.
  1. If the images of your loved one stay in your mind all the time with the raw emotions exposed for extended periods of time, perhaps you should now seek help. Elevated stress levels over long periods begin to take their toll on the body and mind and should be dealt with. It does not mean you are weak or defective. It just means your mind has certain values and ways of dealing with grief that it has not been given alternatives for.

    It may seem strange to say this, but your unconscious mind thinks it is helping by doing these things for you. It does not understand it is doing you harm. And not wanting to let go because you think it is dishonoring your love for your loved one is a common reaction. But your mind must understand that your memories of that person can be kept clear and joyful, celebrating the life rather than filling them with pain.

    You should also be aware here that sometimes grief is simply the “straw that broke the camels back” when it comes to producing emotional and physical symptoms. People who have been under stress for long periods of time before a bereavement often have a highly emotion charges memory system underlying the loss. This can cause biochemical imbalances that make depression worse and can cause massive mood swings. With the added load a bereavement can place on you, the effects can be very worrying, even to the point you think you are loosing your mind. If this is your situation get in touch with a stress management specialist immediately.

  1. A third level of grief sometimes occurs when a death is sudden and unexpected. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is something that often happens with people who are involved in or witness violence and death. It first became noticed with the return of soldiers from war zones where it still affects nearly 30% of people who are actually involved in combat.

    The same occurs with serious accidents, terrorism or even natural disasters. It happens because our natural values and belief systems are assaulted so strongly that our mind does not know how to handle it and it generates huge emotional swings coupled with physiological effects. Its power can vary, and some people get through it over time just like normal grieving. But others struggle, sometimes for decades or a lifetime. This level of grief MUST be treated.

And so the story of grief is much too big for this short article. I can only suggest here that if you have lost a loved one, stay close to family and friends for a while, and don’t be afraid to show your grief and pain. Tears will help, as will reviewing the life that you loved so dearly.

If however you find yourself in a highly anxious state or the depression becomes unbearable, or you just don’t know how to handle the new day to day tasks that may have to be dealt with, seek out someone who understands your plight. Grief counselors and therapists can help. If your mind starts to play tricks on you or you start to have health problems see a health professional, preferable someone who specializes in stress and anxiety related issues.

There is always help and always someone you can talk to. If you think you would like to talk to our staff feel free to contact us.

And always remember that wonderful Irish saying, “May the sun always shine on your face, and the wind blow at your back!”

Sources of Stress

The sources of STRESS
See also Grief – Cause and Effect

Almost anything can cause stress levels to increase and to cause anxieties about the future, but the trigger events must be in memory before the mind can produce a negative outcome.

Let me explain. We can only create anxiety if we are comparing a current situation with a past event or knowledge. You cannot get anxious about your job unless there is a past belief system already in existence at deep subconscious level to say that then A, B or C occur then the result will be X, Y, or Z.

If you are aware that you are not performing as well as you should and it worries you then you’re relying on a number of pre-existing beliefs to create that worry. The first is that you should be performing in a certain way. That can only come from a comparison with past knowledge or expectations. The second belief which would cause the worry is that people who do not perform get fired. Again this can only come from past experience or knowledge that this is so. So if you don’t have the original belief system to say something is wrong then you don’t get the anxiety reaction!

Our structured belief systems stem from the information we are given or events that we see or become aware of when we are very young, usually during the first five to seven years. This is the period defined by the sociologist, Maurice Massey, as the “imprinting period”. During this time of our lives we are in a state of waking hypnosis, absorbing everything that comes our way like a sponge – uncritical and all believing. This is especially so with people who we regard as being in authority over us like parents, grand-parents and teachers. Close friends of the family also often fit into this category.

Such learnings can sometimes be traumatic. Traumatic from the point of view of being emotionally disturbing or frightening. Later in life these events and beliefs, with their emotional content may continue to be presented to consciousness to have the negative emotional content dealt with in a way which will diffuse the trauma. Another way that early learnings can later cause problems and stress is when later belief systems, developed whilst in contact with new friends, come into conflict with the earlier imprinted beliefs of parents.

A common occurrence of this type of conflict that appears in therapeutic practice is in sexual self identity. Most of us become aware at a very early age of certain limits to sexual activity and expression. This awareness is often generated from “non specific” input – being aware of how parents act or of their discussions, and sometimes from an awareness that certain subjects are not discussed! The input from very religious families, often lays the basic groundwork for a guilt ridden sexual self identity. This input doesn’t become a problem until later in life when you begin to realise, through greater awareness, that those original beliefs may not be all they are cracked up to be! But by then the original beliefs and values, often at a subconscious level are powerful indeed and the conflict produced can plague you for the rest of your life, affecting your self image and relationships.

The most common source of stress in our lives is our self image created when we are very young and always based on our awareness of what others think and say about us. As a source of anxiety this probably is the most damaging to the outcomes we produce in our lives and often the cause has nothing to do with anything that we have even been involved in!

When we use Age Regression or Time Line Therapy to determine the root cause of emotional or physical trauma it is not uncommon for the original sensitising event to be fiction. A client came to me because he could not make money. He wanted to consciously. He had the resources to do so mentally and the knowledge, and he had a burning desire to create a certain dream that he had. Yet with all this going for him he still found it difficult to make money, and when he did he lost it quickly. The original root cause event produced an awareness of being in his mothers womb, before birth, and hearing two people argue about money. His mind had installed a decision in this memory never to be in the situation of having to argue about money.

So it was his subconscious mind that had made that decision based on a conversation it had over heard and the subconscious mind had proceeded to use all its resources to ensure that he never made money! But the exciting thing about this story is that we were able to show the mind how it had made a mistake. I asked my client to allow himself to float up out of the womb to checkout what was actually happening. He was startled to find that his mother was in a picture theatre watch a film and that the argument was between two people in the film. His entire life had been restricted and had caused untold stress because of his minds reaction to a fictional film plot!

Because of this virtually any belief system which is in conflict with another belief system formed at another time will cause elevated levels of anxiety and consequently produce emotional and physical dis-ease. If this is allowed to continue it will produce physical disease.

The Symptoms of Stress

If the circumstances of your life have induced thoughts relating to higher levels of anxiety about the future, then higher levels of adrenalin are produced everywhere in the body at the same time creating a number of responses as the body tries to cope with the “abnormal” biochemical imbalance.

In normal circumstances the stimulus for the anxiety would dissipate quickly and thus the physical reaction. But when you place yourself in an environment which induces continuous anxiety, perhaps about your future or your family, then the body must modify the way it handled that anxiety. In doing so it will change the way it uses energy, chemicals from food, how it manufactures essential components of the hormones and neurotransmitters and the kind of food that you need to cope. If you have been under stress inducing circumstances for some time then you are now likely to be aware of some of these physiological reactions beginning to appear, and perhaps getting worse. Symptoms include the following.

Stress Symptoms resulting from long term high anxiety levels

  • Lack of energy – lethargy. Do you find it difficult to get
  • out of bed in the morning and/or are you always tired?
  • Poor balance or episodes of dizziness. Do you sometimes
  • feel unstable on your feet?
  • Poor concentration – do you sometimes feel you are trying
  • to “think through a fog”?
  • Poor memory – and probably getting worse!
  • Poor perceptions – visual and/or auditory distortions. Having
  • trouble reading or do shapes seem to change for you? Does the world
  • seem to get brighter or darker at times without reason?
  • High anxiety levels – panic attacks
  • Large swings in moods – depression is common
  • Cravings for sweet foods – often resulting in feeling better
  • for a while, followed by a headache or depression.

Such symptoms in themselves tend to increase anxiety levels because you notice them and think that something “may be wrong”, or if they are bad enough, that you are going mad. Sometimes suicidal ideation surfaces and creates more worry, and of course, the higher the anxiety the more symptoms are produced. The anxiety cycle has begun, locking you into an emotional and physical downward spiral. Fortunately it is relatively easy to correct, even after twenty or thirty years with these high levels of anxiety.